Just Doing My Best

I'm done with Zepbound. The side effects were too much for me. Bloating, burping, constipation, painfully slow digestion... I felt like I had bariatric surgery. It took away my cravings, which was good and bad. It also dulled my love for food. The enjoyment of eating.

In one way that gave me insight to what "normal" people must feel like. On the other hand I felt sad to have no pleasure of eating. That "spark" was gone. 

When my Nana died I found books and books of weight loss tips, recipes, smoothies, advice, drugs... in her home. She was always a bit plump. Not big, but average. As long as I can remember she was on some kind of weird diet and trying to get all of us to do it too. I remember being given these giant green spirulina pills when I was young. They tasted like swamp goo. And for the record I was not a big kid. Maybe she did it for "health?" 

I was struck with how much of her life she wasted on all of these things that don't matter. Didn't matter. Her clothes size, her belly, her back fat, her "bingo" arms. She was beautiful to me. I was determined in that moment to not let all that "noise" screw with my happiness. The people in my life love me unconditionally, no matter what size I am.

She was perfect just the way she was.

Somehow I had already forgotten that lesson.

I do want to lower my weight for the sake of my joints and muscles. But I am beautiful, stunning and perfect. I don't need any weird food to do it. And it's ok to have ice cream for dinner every once in a while. 

It All Broke Loose

Uh Oh.

Day 2 went really good, but night the night time. At around 10PM I literally shit the bed. I had horrible diarrhea like I've never had before. Never in my life have I been unable to get to the toilet in time. I'm not sure if that speaks to my mito disease, or how bad it came on.

It lasted about 20hrs. I think it was because I was so scared of getting seriously constipated. I had put Metamucil in my protein drink, drank laxative tea twice a day and even took a stool softener. So now we know what happens when you make foolish choices like that. Nothing good. Nothing good happens my friend.

I was very lucky that my mom e-mailed me and reminded me about the large sanitary pads that she gave me years ago. I knew right where they where. They were a huge life saver! I don't know what I would have done without it. Maybe just camped out on the toilet for hours and hours. Ugh.

I seriously need to be more careful with what I put into my body especially. 

Pun intended. That was shitty.

Zepbound Day 1

As I mentioned in a previous blog I'm trying out the new weight loss injection Zepbound. I did my first dose last night before bed. I had some minor nausea, but then I was quickly asleep. 

I was warned by the doctor to be careful with how much fat and fiber I eat. Lots of fiber, very little fat.

Unfortunately my poor stressed out husband just got his labs back and they showed his blood sugars are back in the "diabetic" zone. So now is a very good time for both of us to change our ways. 

For breakfast I made myself a protein shake. In it was...

1 cup of each:
Orange juice
Oat milk
Frozen mixed berries

1 small banana

2 scoops chocolate protein powder

1 scoop of each:
Metamucil
Raw coco powder
Ground flax

Lastly 1/2 a scoop of Collagen (It makes the shake slimy so I can't use much of it.)

It tastes like a chocolate covered strawberry to me. Not bad at all. Just a bit gritty. 

That made 2 pints. I drank one and put the other in the fridge for tomorrow.

With this I'm having "Smooth Move" organic tea for constipation. Yes, herbal tea instead of coffee. I hope all this doesn't give me the opposite problem. Hahah.

Protein shake, tea and water.

I just got a new tattoo, so a lot of protein is important. Same with reducing my calories.

It's chicken salad for dinner. Wish me luck!

My new shark tattoo

Weight Loss Tug of War

I had a doctor's appointment today. It was rare for me because it had nothing to do with my mitochondrial disease or migraines. I wanted to talk about weight loss.

I've been going from 298 to 285 back and forth for years now. I think the lowest I've been able to get is around 273. And that's been a hot minute. I was down to 263 about 10 years ago. Neither of those are amazing numbers though. I really should be closer to 200-220. Even though the medical industry would likely say more like 190.

As I told the doctor today. I've done it all in the past. Weight Watchers, Lean Cuisines, Therapy, Journaling, Blogging, Reading soooooo many books, Meetings, Workshops, Dieticians... Ugh. I told him I've been overweight for about 25 years now and I need some help.

My mom just started an injectable called Zepbound. He said he thought that could help me too. (No. I'm not getting any kickback for this.) My insurance has to approve it first, but he's pretty positive that they will. 

My Friend's Coconut Wedding Cake Yesterday.

Beyond AMAZING!

I'm hoping to get:

• Cravings under control
• Feeling fuller with less food
• Fewer hunger pains when limiting food
• Past that "hump" of the 280's
• Help to kick start my weight loss
  
  

I'm concerned about:

• Constipation
• My system already being slow now going slower
• More fatigue
• Other side effects

Although I'm not excited about another injectable, I am feeling optimistic. I'm going to journal a lot and try to keep an open mind. I hope this helps not just me, but my mom as well.