Monday, February 22, 2021

In a Different Way

I was traveling to my mother's house the other day in my wheelchair when I had a lovely realization. I always think of myself as "no longer able to drive." But that's not quite true. I don't drive a car, but I drive my wheelchair regularly. Many of the same skills used driving a car are implemented in driving a wheelchair. So I do still drive! 

WATCH ME DRIVE!

This new thought soon spread to other "I can't" areas in my life.

Thought: "I no longer work."

Reality: I don't earn an income for my work right now, but I still do plenty of work. 

Thought: "I can't travel anymore."

Reality: I can travel. I travel shorter distances now.

Thought: "I'll never be able to have more dogs because I can't take care of them."

Reality: We can have more dogs (in the future) and I'll just take care of them in different ways and ask for help in ways that I can't.

It may seem insanely obvious, but this was a big revelation for me. Now I'm seeing every "can't" in my life as "I CAN! JUST IN A DIFFERENT WAY." That's huge for me and feels wonderful.




Monday, February 1, 2021

Giving Myself Pleasure

The big goal for myself this year is to spend more time in my own company. To explore myself and my personal interests now that I can't hold a traditional job. A job that used to fill 90% of my life, mind and time. 

I have started journaling again. Something I find very helpful for sorting out my thoughts and feelings. Writing with a pen also stimulates my mind in a very different way then blogging. To me my blogs are more of a guidebook that I can easily look back on for reference. My journal however is completely personal and private.

I'm once again growing out into and finding out what gives me pleasure. Here's just a sampling...

I used to look at taking care of myself as something I must do and that I had no choice in. This year I have changed that thinking to be something I'm fortunate to be able to do. I'm lucky to have the time and resources to take very good care of myself. So when I actively choose not to (by not doing my stretches or eating something that's not a good choice for my body) it's an insult to myself. It's my privilege to care for myself, not my obligation. I find that mindset much more helpful.

It helps me mentally to have my home reflect our families playful side. We have a lot of interesting collections and it's fun to create little curio displays around the house. I love having a playful home.

It's not just the visual side of my home that's important to me, but the scent as well. Fresh coffee, flowers, scented candles, a fresh fire log burning. All combine to make my home inviting, warm and cozy. And since this is where we all spend the great majority of our time since last year, that matters to me.

I could fill volumes with what I have learned from sharing my life with dogs. My sweet puppy is a "super senior" now in the twilight years of her life. I treat each moment I still get to spend with her as a great gift. Just watching her gives me endless pleasure. I'm thankful to be able to have had the opportunity to give her (and her sister's who went before her) such a good life.

I love to try new things, especially when it comes to decorating our teeny tiny home. Right now my work in progress is turning one side of our hallway into a giant wall of mirrors. I was gifted two unique, beautiful mirrors by my mother and three more from my sister-in-law. It has been a very fun project that's not over yet.

I love jewelry. It is one of the greatest passions in my life. I used to wish Elizabeth Taylor was my mother just so I could have her jewelry collection. Her daughter probably didn't like jewelry because that's how those things usually work. Just like my mother is not into jewelry at all. Go figure.

It's more than jewelry to me though. It's a story. So vintage jewelry holds a special place in my heart. It's like a sliver of time with an unknown history that gets to belong to you. I imagine the people who owned it before me. Their lives and their stories.

Stories have always given me pleasure. Even the hard ones, which is one of the reasons I loved my profession so much. But now I'm focusing on my own story and my own meaning in life.


Expectations

My husband and I will be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary this October 1st. We're planning a trip to Hawaii (the big island) jus...