Portion Size Confusion

I looooove food. 

Food and I have been having a passionate love affair for years now. Decades really. I have no idea when food switched for me from being tasty and something I had to do to stay alive to something I live to do. I don't feel it's healthy for me and I don't want food to take up so much space in my life. Enter my plan to eat six smaller meals a day. Yes, this is for my health, but it's also a way to educate myself about food and renew my relationship with it in a hopefully healthier way.

It's only been two days since I've changed how I eat, but I've already learned a lot about myself.

1. I have no idea how many calories are in something. My guesses are always WAY off.
2. I like eating healthy foods.

Seriously though. I looked up a portion size, then measured or weighed out what that is for each of these foods. Would you have guessed these are one serving size?

I thought I would be starving eating so little, but when I'm eating every 2 hours I don't think my body has a chance to feel hungry. Yesterday was the first day I kept actual track and set alarms on my phone. This isn't me being obsessive, but instead trying to learn what six meals a day really feels like. It's new and I need help learning.

I prepared some easy to eat things this week for in-between meals. For other meals (like dinner) we have a weekly menu board in our kitchen. My husband also wants to eat less, so that makes it much easier!

• Already sliced and prepared fresh veg
• Boiled eggs
• Salted roasted peanuts
• Avocados
• Cottage cheese (whole fat)
• Fruit for dessert

Wish me luck!

Try ALL the Things!

It's a new month. August. The bridge between summer and fall. A perfect time to try something new. I've been told (and my own research confirms) that I am not eating properly for my muscle disease. What I should be doing is eating many small meals through the day that are high in protein and "good" fats and low in carbs. But what I like to do is eat two large meals (especially dinner! My favorite) and nothing in between. Breakfast to me is a banana or just coffee. Not so good. 

Soooo... Since I want to be my best healthy self that I can be. And I'm also very fortunate to have access to food. I want to at least try eating the way that my doctors recommend. With gratitude in my heart that I have the financial stability to be able to do so. Especially now during the pandemic.

Soooo... I did a lot of research and here's what I found:

1. I should try eating 6 smaller meals a day. 
2. I will prioritize foods naturally high in COQ6 since that's where my major genetic mutation is.
3. I will focus on foods that are high in protein and fats and low in carbs.
4. I am going to pay close attention to my symptoms and how I feel.
5. I am going to try this for the entire month of August.

Yes. I already started!

I read that foods naturally high in COQ10 are:

• Trout
• Herring
• Mackerel
• Sardines
• Spinach
• Cauliflower
• Broccoli
• Oranges
• Strawberries
• Sesame Seeds
• Pistachios
• Eggs
• Soy
• Peanuts

(I got this instead of Taco Bell the other night. One small choice at a time!)

Some basic "good fats" are:

• Avocado
• Salmon
• Peanuts
• Olive Oil
• Eggs
• Dark Chocolate (85%)
• Macadamia Nuts
• Tofu

Foods high in protein are:

• Anchovies
• Eggs
• Yogurt
• Tuna
• Salmon
• Pumpkin Seeds
• Cottage Cheese
• Peanuts
• Tofu
• Beans
• Halibut
• Peas
• Oats
• Hummus
• Broccoli
• Popcorn
• Avocado
• Asparagus
• Potatoes
• Shrimp
• Guava
• Sun Dried Tomatoes

Food helpful for inflammation are:

• Flax Seed
• Green Tea
• Turmeric
• Walnuts
• Pineapple
• Kale
• Garlic 
• Broccoli
• Lemon
• Berries
• Avocado
• Cantaloupe

These lists aren't all inclusive, but are helpful for me. I also notice a common theme. Like rich fish, eggs and tofu. Those will be a staple for me. 

My hope is that maybe I'll have more energy with eating this way and even a little less pain. That would be lovely. It could also make some weight loss easier too. Fingers crossed. I'll keep you posted!

Being Frank About My Fat

There's something that's been weighing on my mind (pun intended) for a while. Well, since I'm a woman I'd say my entire life. W e i g h t. The size of a woman and what she "should" look like has been with me for as long as I can remember. But as a disabled "woman of size" it's on my mind now more than ever.

I am fully aware that the more I weigh the more stress there is on my joints and weak muscles. I'm also aware that my weight being well over my personal preferred size does no favors for my health. However there is a constant tug-o-war that happens in my mind. I can know both those things to be true and lack the motivation and will power required to do something about it. Simply put... I LOVE FOOD!

I love to eat. I love to think about what I'm going to eat next while I eat. I love to watch TV shows of people cooking as I eat. I'm not so fond of cooking, but that's where my husband and mother come in as they are both very skilled chefs. 

I tell myself that I still look good (true), am still sexy as hell (also true) and if it makes me that happy then I should indulge. I also tell myself that if I can't have an orgasm I can absolutely replace that joy with food without guilt.

But there is guilt. Because I know that attitude isn't what's best for my body and boy does she let me know it! My pain is only getting worse along with my mobility. If it turns out I need help eventually getting into my chair or bathing, how fair is it that I have extra mass to contend with as well?

So here we have two completely conflicting emotions. The logical, sound reason that I would be much better off if I were to drop at least 80lbs. Then the heartfelt yearning for the taste of yum and more yum (and more...)

What's a cripple girl to do?