As an adult I've thought of summer as an evil beast to do battle with. A daemon of fire and unrelenting heat. Unlike sisters summer and fall who come out ready to blind in their gowns of vivid colors. Winter is more like a crone to me. Stand offish and cold. Dressed in a cloak of silver and black. Round body from feasting and storing reserves for the long dark nights.
Each solstice and equinox is a good time to turn inward. Examine what isn't working for you and let it go. Or at least try to. This equinox I have a few things to shed.
Justifying myself. Especially to my partner. I don't need to justify my decisions or actions to anyone but myself. It's a bad habit that I've allowed into my life. No more.
False Urgency. Feeling the need to rush through things that don't require rushing. Unless it's an emergency it will come at it's own time. That call can wait till tomorrow. Rest comes first. Always.
Stoicism. I always say "people don't know what you don't tell them." I need to take that advice and have hard conversations with friends and family about how severe my health is right now. No bullshit "stiff upper lip." Let the floodgates open on those emotions.
I've been taking a lot of pleasure these days in:
- Spending time with my mom. Having small outings together with the dogs or just us.
- Making art in ceramics.
- Prioritizing small things I can manage like organizing my home.
- Taking care of my skin, hair and nails.
- Collecting small things on walks. Leafs, acorns, sticks and putting them in my little basket on the mantle. My "gathering" basket.
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