Surviving or Thriving

My husband and I have been checking in with each other asking if we are "surviving or thriving" on any given day. Recently I have learned that I answer "thriving" on days where I have been exceptionally social. This is shocking news to me.

I've always consider myself an introvert and that being with others drains me instead of charges my batteries (gives me spoons, fills my tank, gives me energy...) But what if I'm wrong? What if I actually thrive being with other people more often than I know?

Honestly I think like most things it depends on the people. If I'm with high energy people I thrive. If I'm with low energy people I might drain more quickly. Being empathetic I'm pretty sure this is the case. I mirror the energy of the people I'm with.

Recently I was able to spend time with some very high energy friends and I felt overwhelmed with joy. I savored every second of it.

I also got my nose re-pierced! So that's big news.

Remember How to Play

Why so serious?

My son told me last night that he's taking a break from Facebook for his mental health. I applaud that level of self care. Another important thing to remember with all the stress people are under right now is how to play. Your inner child needs to be fed more than just ice cream and Taco Bell. They need to play. YOU need to play.

When was the last time you played?

Do you remember how to do it?

Play is vital to keeping your mood up, interacting with other people in positive ways and helpful for your relationships! Here's some ways that my family and I play. 

Go for a nature walk and touch everything.

Go to an art supply store and buy whatever looks fun. Even if you've never used it before. Make yourself an art basket and keep it out where you can see it. 

Do some doodles.

Take pictures of yourself making funny faces. You DO remember how to make a funny face... right?

Go to a thrift store and "rescue" a stuffed animal. Or better yet, find one in a dumpster! Take it to a public laundromat and clean it all up. Give it a second home and a new life.

Paint your toes the color of the rainbow and find some shoes that look like muppets. 

Make funny faces with your pet and take pictures. Or just rub and nuzzle on them.

Buy yourself a tiara. Because everything is better when you're the boss!

Stop and smell EVERY single freaking flower you come across. Even if it's just at the store.

Go look at some art. 

Blow some bubbles, or a pinwheel.

Do a puzzle. Especially with someone else.

Paint a picture of your pet (even if you think you're not any good).

Other ideas:

• Sing your favorite song really loud
• Make yourself cupcakes
• Go outside and play in the mud
• Make a fairy house out of stuff you find
• Start a new hobby (like air plants or Yoga)
• Taste something you've never had
• Have a pillow fight with your partner
• Try a new musical instrument
• Buy some sidewalk chalk and decorate your street
• Make a nature crown for your head
• Look for interesting bugs
• Learn to juggle tissues
• Teach yourself tarot or runes
• Make a big batch of something delicious and share it
• Dig out your old video games and have a retro game party (ditto for board games)

The importance of fun!

It's Halloween today and even though I'm not dressing up and going out I am still finding ways to have fun. If I were to dress up, this year I would go as Frida Kahlo. But not the super colorful one people usually dress as. Her more serious black mood like this:

I can relate to her disability and suffering but how she still struggled to express herself, her sexuality and her creativity. In fact, yesterday I bought two canvases and I want to get back into doing art. Any kind of art really. Just something fun to do to express myself and keep mentally active. 

Having fun and playing is a big deal in our house. We own a lot of games and many things others would consider "childish". Children's books, pinwheels, shadow puppets, Disney movies, stuffed animals, coloring books and crayons all have a happy home with us. And even though I don't use them all the time, just having them makes me smile. 

Even going to Target yesterday and picking out these bubbles to hand out to the little knee biters that will come knocking tonight was fun. I wheeled through the store picking out just the right thing. I like giving out toys instead of candy. Candy is gone in an instant, but a little something they can bring to school and share is better. 

No matter what the next day will bring I will ALWAYS find a way to have fun. (And like I suspected yesterday, I'm feeling much better today.)

The in-between times

So much of having a chronic illness is waiting. Some people wait for surgery or chemo treatments. I wait for brain MRI's, doctors appointments and testing.

But my life can't just be ALL about my illness(s). So what about the in-between times? In-between the doctors appointments, medical testing, waiting, symptoms trying to take over... what do I do then? 

Well, one of the things I like to do is keep up on my henna head. This time I went to my mom's hotel room and she did it for me. It was much easier than getting all the little spots myself and it came out lovely. 

Another thing I do a lot of (as much as I can really) is rest. I try and nap every day. Usually between two and three and a half hours. And no. It never effects my night time sleep. I sleep like a rock (usually). Aside from my puppy I also snuggle my giant stuffed shark "Bruce" and of course, my husband. 

I also find small things to lift my spirits. Having bright fingernails is one of those things I like to do. I used to have a tradition of painting my nails in a sparkle polish before any big test. I used to tell people "It's impossible to feel stressed with sparkly fairy nails!" That's a motto I still hold to.

On that note, I'm going to take a nap and paint my nails.

Next up... "Plan Kick Ass" update. 

Rest and Play

Last week my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. Although we call ourselves the "Adventure Buddies" we were more than ready for some serious rest. We drove three hours from our home to the coast for some fresh air, good food and plenty of relaxation.

I fell in love with this swing on our patio, even though it made me a little dizzy. I think I need one at home now.

The hotel we stayed at, the Bernardus Lodge and Spa, had a beautiful garden, delicious restaurant and was completely wheelchair accessible. It was just what my body and soul needed.

I'm learning how to have "relaxing adventure" lately. Case in point, the hotel had a convertible car that we were able to "borrow" for a lovely coastal drive. It was a lot of fun, but an easier adventure on my body than say, a long beach walk, which is something we would have done instead in the past. 

Some "adventure" takes money, but other things I can find for free. Like this fun, organic farm stand we stumbled upon on our way home. They had a cute area for "kids" that I took full advantage of. I spent my muscle spoons for the afternoon getting in and out of this GIANT adirondack chair and it was totally worth it. I felt like such a kid!

For me play is just as important as rest. If I spend too much time just "adulting" I'm one unhappy lady. 

Of course one of my favorite ways to rest and re-charge is to snuggle with my sweet girl. 

My husband and I also "play" with (gasp) our friends! We belong to a local group of tiki lovers who are as child-like and playful as we are. We try to make time at least once a month to dress up and hang out with our buddies. 

Life is a balance and I'm still trying my best to find the perfect mix of work, rest and play. 

(** I received no reimbursement for my mention of Bernardus Lodge and Spa. But if they'd like to hook me up in the future, that would be dandy!)

Post Brain Tumor Henna

I used to color my hair at home all of the time. Black, red, blonde, chestnut, burgundy and every color in between. But I have never tried henna. The reason for this is you can't use henna on hair that has been chemically processed, and my hair has ALWAYS been chemically processed. That is till I had my brain tumor. I've been natural ever since.

Recently we went to a party and I saw all the women with their fun hair colors. Even women older than me with pink, red, two tone fun hair. I looked at my pictures and thought "I WANT FUN HAIR TOO!" Now my natural color may be nice, but no one would ever say that it's fun. I'm a fun woman and I want fun hair.

I was also going through some old pictures and I saw a few with my hair red. I always loved the magic and myth around a flaming head of hair and Maureen O'Hara is one of my heroes. I thought coloring my hair again was out for me because I want to keep away from chemicals. But then I remembered henna. 

People have been using henna to color their hair for thousands of years. It's a safe, all natural, chemical free process. The one I picked is even organic!

The directions said for an even brighter red to steep some hibiscus tea (which I just happened to have on hand!) and use a little bit of lemon juice or vinegar. I used 2oz white vinegar and 12oz tea mixed together and steeped overnight.

Ok... it looks EXACTLY like poop. Luckily it doesn't smell bad. 

First I painted Vaseline all over the parts of my skin that I didn't want stained. Then I liberally applied the henna mixture all over my hair starting at the crown. Next I wrapped it in plastic wrap (about 3 layers.) Then I topped that off with a warm towel. I did henna my brows too. Very carefully with a fine paint brush and lots of Vaseline around them. I then blasted them with a hair dryer for a few minutes as henna likes heat to activate. 

Four and a half hours and three pairs of gloves later...

I really love the results! Unlike chemical dye it also didn't burn or hurt my scalp. Next time I will use even more Vaseline as I still got some staining, but it wasn't as bad as I'd feared. The color keeps curing for the next two days and will darken a little bit. 

The process was also a fun History/Science/Cultural Anthropology experiment for me. I could picture a community of women taking the day off and all doing henna for each other. I'm sure they would have group grooming days like that. I also thought of the Egyptians who were documented to use henna liberally. It's amazing that it could do as good a job as chemicals without all that damage and toxicity. 

I think it looks really natural. I will definitely do it again.

And here's a gratuitous puppy picture just because.

Swimming in the deep end of life

I love the Ocean. I always have. When I was a little girl I used to spend all day every day every summer swimming and pretending I was either a mermaid or a shark. I love them both equally. The more my arms and legs stopped working the more my love for mermaids grew. I liked to think that I was just a land-locked mermaid and not a disabled woman. Isn't that thought more fun?

Last weekend my husband took me to the "Bubble Ball" at a mermaid convention in our town. Who even knew there was such a thing? You had to come dressed as either a mermaid or a pirate. I was thinking "What's there to do at a 'ball' in a wheelchair?" Turns out tons of stuff!

Me being me I had to dress as a "Princess, mermaid, fairy, shark" and not just a mermaid. "Where's the shark?" You might be thinking? I have 5 gills on my neck. Hehehe.

My husband was "Mr. Smee" from Peter Pan. Smart guy that he is he picked a comfy outfit in the sweltering heat. 

There was a magician who was amazing and looked a lot like "Captain Jack Sparrow" from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. 

There were games, photo booths, tarot card readings, magic, stage shows and all kinds of fun to be had. I did get a little bit of chair dancing on at the end too. We had a fantastic time. I'm glad I didn't let my hesitation of "going to a dance in a wheelchair" get in the way of me letting my inner mermaid (princess, fairy, shark) shine!

Nature Cure

Where my husband and I live is packed with beautiful nature and accessible trails. The weather has been so beautiful that the other day we packed my wheelchair "Ariel" into the car and headed out to our favorite spot. It's a beautiful garden area nestled next to an Oak Tree forest full of every kind of oak you can imagine.

Being at the ocean and in the forest touching nature is completely detoxing for me. It brings me back to center and eases my mind like little else can. On our walk I even managed to hoist myself up a little bit so I could fully sit in my favorite leafy Oak. It was wonderful.