Feelin Groovy

My eyes are finally better. It took the eyedrops, ointment and an antibiotic to finally help. Jeeeeze. Something is definitely up with my immune system. But more on that later. 

What I really want to talk about is how great my Vegan diet is going. Here's the thing. I was Vegan for two years solid a very long time ago. My first year in grad school actually. I went Vegan for emotional reasons. Because I love animals and care about their welfare. I also love the planet and I know how harmful factory farm meat production is. 

Oatmeal with pumpkin seeds, flax and pumpkin pie spice.

I also had blueberries, but I took this picture before I added them. 

It was very delicious and filling.

As I said, I was Vegan for two years. Then it just stopped working for me. I was craving meat all the time. I caved and had a burger and then just slid back into a regular American diet.

This time I'm going Vegan for me. Yes, for the animals and planet too. But number one for me. That's my theme this year. Me first.

I don't think my body does well processing animal proteins. I've suspected as much since first going on the "short chain fatty acid" diet where I cut out a ton of animal protein. 

I used AI to help me come up with a meal plan tailored to meet the demands of my mitochondria. Foods that are top tier helpful. Shocker... they're all Vegan. Leafy greens, nuts & seeds and berries.

This was one of my favorite things I've had so far.

Cubed and roasted sweet potatoes on the bottom. Black beans, mixed baby greens, tomatoes, avocado, pumpkin seeds and a simple lemon oil dressing. Delicious!

I wanted to know if I cut out ALL animal protein if my body would do even better?

I'm on week two now. Last week I was down for the count because of my eye. Now I'm on major antibiotics, so it's hard to tell. My energy is about the same, but my muscles do seem better. What has made a huge difference is my stomach feels much better and my bowels are starting to become regular. Again, that could be from the antibiotics too, so I can't say for sure yet. 

I've been drinking a ton of lemon water. 

I replaced my morning coffee with Matcha, honey and oatmilk.

Here I'm having a simple smoothie with pea protein, oat milk, blueberries, a banana and spinach.

Ethically I feel much better. My heart feels lighter. There's so much ugliness in the world right now that I feel strongly about spreading love, peace and compassion anywhere I can. And not contributing to the suffering of animals through thoughtful consumption of not just food, but anything that uses and abuses animals is important to me. Very important.

My treat. Anything above 70% dark cocoa.
This was very delicious. 

I'll report back how or if the Vegan diet is helping my mitochondrial disease symptoms regularly. 

Killer Conjunctivitis Strikes Again!

C'mon man.
The year has just begun and already we have my mom in a medical crisis, my best friend has lock jaw and me with another eye infection. Really? Is this how we're gonna play 2026?

Yup. I noticed I was getting a stye on Saturday. By Sunday it was full blown puffy. I did a Teledoc visit so I could get eye drops first thing Monday. Tuesday my ophthalmologist sent in some ointment too. Today is Wednesday and I think it's finally turned a corner. 

Right eye this time. Three sweet months since my last infection. Here's what it looked like yesterday morning.

I can feel it in my ear too!

Sick with no Taco Bell. AAAAAAAAAAA!

You can see that yesterday it started spreading to my left eye. Despite me changing my pillow case and blanket daily and using the tea tree wipes on it that my ophthalmologist's recommended. My immune system just suuuuuuuucks.

I think this would be no big deal in anyone else. But in me my whole body shuts down. And it's very hard to get it under control. I didn't ask for oral antibiotics this time because I feel confident that I CAN fight it off myself. It will just take a little bit.

Meanwhile I'm doing Ofloxacin Ophthalmic Solution 0.3%, two drops four times a day in both eyes and Erythromycin Ointment 0.5% in the morning and at night. I guess that is an antibiotic ointment. Hot compress, cold washrag and rest. Afrin nose spray for my ear.

I will say though, this is bullshit.

My ophthalmologist (who I JUST SAW) is now referring me to a different one. I'll see him at the end of March. Progress at a snail's pace. 

I wonder if swimming in a chlorinated pool regularly would help? Hmmm. Something to consider. 

But if it means not sleeping with my dogs forget it. I'd rather be on antibiotics the rest of their lives.

Taking Matters Into My Capable Hands

My very first blog post ever here was about "Plan Kick Ass." It was what I called a plan to rid all toxins from my diet and radically change my habits for the better. It has come and gone through the years. Typically with food addiction taking the drivers seat and veering me back into old habits. 

My dinner the other night. Cheese tortellini with gorgonzola alfredo sauce and roasted broccoli. It was even more delicious than it looks.

Cheese, butter, sweets, carbs... are all very hard for me to resist. Eight years later I'm ready to try again. But this time I have AI to help me.

With the help of Hal (what I call Copilot on my phone) I made a complete list of all the foods that are the very best for mitochondrial health. I then formed a meal plan around those foods. It is a complete, Vegan, protein and antioxidant heavy diet. No animal products at all. 

Matcha tea instead of coffee every morning.

What it also lacks are replacement foods. No Earth Balance instead of butter. No Impossible Beef instead of burger. And sadly, not even some fake buffalo "chicken" instead of real chicken on my salad. Nope. Whole grains, beans, fruits and vegetables. The closest thing I get to eating anything "fun" is dark chocolate. This... is... going... to... be... hard.

My research added to my 2026 journal.

BUT. If it will help me lose some weight to help my strength and mobility. Heal my mitochondria and allow me to have more stamina and less fatigue? Well... There's very little I wouldn't do for that.

First comes food. Then hopefully if I'm feeling stronger and more energetic I can increase my activity. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Welcome to 2026. My body won't know what hit it. 

Happy New Year!

Seizure EEG

So I had my EEG this week. I don't recommend them. The flashing light and hyperventilation were a lot more taxing than I had anticipated. It left me exhausted for about 24hrs. But when you stop and think about how much energy goes into forcing yourself to hyperventilate for three minutes... Well... I shouldn't have been surprised. 

Collage and pictures courtesy of my mom/driver/personal assistant/fairy Godmother

I'm constantly shocked by my lack of stamina. Even this many long years after my diagnosis. I think that could be some kind of body dysmorphia. I see myself as far far far more capable than I am. Always. In any situation. "Sure I can lift that couch by myself. Absolutely I can walk a mile over rough terrain. You bet I can swim across that canal. I'm invincible!" Or maybe I'm just hugely optimistic? We'll call it that and not pathologize.  

However, I digress.

I did the EEG and the report came back normal. My husband joked that "Nothing about you is normal." But I have paperwork saying that my little brain is. YAY!

A normal EEG doesn't rule out Silent Seizures. Bummer.

Now I'm going to just hold off on taking anything for seizures until I talk to Dr. Williams, my muscular neurologist at the end of this month.

One invasive medical appointment done. Nothing else till Botox for migraines hopefully resumes next month. IF my insurance approved it. 

What Matters Most

Time is a finite resource. It's vital to make the most of it. And I don't mean I should be rushing to get as much done as possible. But I can use some help prioritizing what is most important in my life and spending my time there.

I'm feeling medical burnout. Even though I have an EEG scheduled for tomorrow to check into the whole "You're having silent seizures" news. This year I really don't want to prioritize medical care. Endless appointments where everyone says the same thing and it doesn't help much. 

I'm also feeling done with spending time with certain people. Like my in-laws. As much as I love them, I just don't want to spend time with them. I don't particularly enjoy their company and they don't have much to add to my life. In fact, they feel like work.

The only person who is work who gets to stay in my life is my son. That's it. I have no time or energy for anyone extra.

I spent a lot of time with friends this year. More than I can remember for ages. It was helpful to weed out who adds to my life and who doesn't. Everyone has hard times and good. I don't expect rainbows and sunshine constantly. But I want an overall positive reciprocal relationship with my friends.

So with all of this in mind. Here are my priorities for how to spend my time this year.

2026

1. Taking care of myself. Mentally and physically. Yoga, swimming, dancing, moving, sleeping. Doing what I need to do to feel good and be happy with myself.
   
   
2. Spending time with my mom, my dogs and my husband. Enjoying them and just living life together.
   
   
3. ART. Being committed to spending time on my art, whatever that looks like. Clay, doodles, painting, henna, crafting, drawing...
   
   
4. Live my values and drop people who don't share them. Animal welfare, feminist issues, slow fashion, commitment to people I love. All of these things matter a lot to me. I don't have time for people who live their lives blindly.
   
   

My mother just threw me the absolute best 53rd birthday party. It was women only and filled with such positive energy. I could tell we were all very thirsty for such an occasion. It was also an excellent way to start off a fresh new year. Showing me the potential of all of the women in my life and how powerful we all are together.

More of that this year please!

TWO CAKES!!!

What 53 looks like

New Diagnosis

I saw my new migraine neurologist yesterday. He's changing one of my migraine medications. He's also hopeful that I can keep on my current medication and just add Botox back into the mix. He's trying to get it approved with my insurance right now.

He also said that he thinks I'm having "silent seizures." That was big news. This past year I'd been having a problem where I smell cigarette smoke and I'm not around any. It lasts days, one time it lasted about a whole month. I haven't had it happen since September, but I still brought it up.

He said given the location of my craniotomy and my symptoms he thinks it's seizures. He said it's quite common due to the scar tissue and brain injury. No one told me about that. I looked it up when I got home and he's right. It is fairly common, even 10+ years after your craniotomy. 

He ordered an EEG and wants to start me on Keppra to keep the seizures from growing. He said it's like a little forest fire that we want to contain before it gets out of control. 

I had no idea that's what was happening. My husband was skeptical and thought he might be seeing something that wasn't there. But he was positive enough to get me started on Keppra right away. 

This weekend is my mom's big 70th birthday. We're going away to the city for the weekend with her girlfriends. I'm very excited about it. So I haven't really processed this news.

Looking back on my blog I've had many diagnosis through the years. A few of them even stuck! Mitochondrial Dysfunction, Brain Meningioma and now this. Thank the Goddess I didn't really have Rheumatoid Arthritis. I think there's plenty going on.

I don't think it will feel real until my medical chart is updated with the records and a new diagnosis. Meanwhile, I started the Keppra. Don't want that fire to spread

I Do What I Want

I'd been wanting to shave my head again ever since my last dye job. It came hot on the heels of two bleach jobs and two other dye jobs. When I can't get a color just right, I get frustrated. When I get frustrated with my hair... well... out come the clippers.

My mom is having a huge birthday this weekend. She's turning 70. But even her please of "Please don't shave your head till after my birthday" fell on ADHD ears. When I get something in my head it's almost impossible for me not to act. It feels like an itch I can't scratch. Awful. 

And (insert drum roll please.) I really enjoy having a shaved head! 

I love the feel of it. My husband calls me "little chick." I love the lack of work, how fast and easy it is. I can just roll out of bed and not fuss with my thin, unruly hair. I like to keep my scalp nice and moisturized, something harder to do with more hair (without looking like an oil spill.) I like not spending time or money on dye just to get a color I'm not happy with.

I like how shockingly feminist it is. Once associated with a punishment of women, now reclaimed as a powerful look (thank you Sinead O'Connor.) I get more compliments on my shaved head than any other style I've had. Quickly followed by "Oh I could never have my hair like that, I'm not brave enough. But I love it."

The late, great, Sinead

I'm not "brave" for shaving my head. Heavens no. I'm brave for a million other reasons, but that's not one of them.

I adore a shaved head on other women. How surprisingly stark it is. How de-feminizing. A woman's "worth" used to be, and in many places still is, judged by having long hair. The thicker and more flowing the better. To consciously opt to have none is a big "fuck you" to the patriarchy who invented these arbitrary rules. My husband doesn't have a six pack. So why should I feel the need to conform to cultures rules about beauty?

I should do what I want.

I always used to say "If it wasn't for my husband preferring longer hair I'd shave my head all the time." Well, I realized just how stupid that is. I need to please myself first. I love and adore my husband with all of my heart. But I don't need to conform to any male gaze, even his. The only gaze I need to please is mine. 

Anyways, he says I'm gorgeous no matter what I do. So there we are.