What would you do if you knew today was your last day here alive on earth? Who would you talk to? How would you spend your time?
As someone who has always been unafraid of death, these are questions that go through my head often. "Is this the last time I'll ever see this person again? The last chance to hug them?"
Everyone in my life whom I love knows just how much I love them. I'm very vocal about it. I hug tightly and let them know in as many ways as I can just how important they are to me.
Am I that important to myself?
I'm working on it.
Self-love is an evolving work in progress for me. As I kid I remember hitting myself, choking myself, biting myself. As a Psychologist I now know these are all common trauma reactions, especially in girls who have experienced SA. So is self hatred. Especially hatred of their bodies.
It has taken me a very long time to turn all of that around. To nurture that young girl and ease her trauma. Now I find self love talk to come easily. I am gentle with myself. However doing what's in my best self interest is still a struggle.
- How I spend my time.
- Staying on a budget or planning financially for the future.
- Making the healthiest choice for my body.
- Putting my needs first (even before my dogs.)
All of these are a work in progress for me. I've come a long way (baby) but I still have a bit of self love that I want to grow into.
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