Adventure List

Now that I have more energy and my mobility back I have a list of things I would like to do. 

• Go Roller Skating
• Camping
• Ocean Swimming
• Snorkeling
• Running on the Beach
• Walk Barefoot Through a Meadow
• Collect Seashells
• Hike Through the Woods
• Go to a Botanical Garden
• Travel More
• Become Proficient at Yoga
• Dance with Friends (doesn't have to be in public)
• Ride a Bike or Trike
• Put My Hands in a Waterfall
• Create More Art

My Two Loves

For as long as I can remember (and that's quite a long time now) I've had two major loves in my life. Passions really.

1- Helping people

and

2- Art

I remember if there was ever someone in need or who looked "different" I would befriend and help them right away. I choose my best friend in the first grade not based on if we wanted to play the same game, but because she was so physically unattractive she was getting teased. Helping others is something I was just born to do.

A recent bowl of mine waiting to be fired.

I am also a born artist. My father was (maybe still is?) a visual artist and a musician. My mother is also very creative and has an eye for design. My grandfather said he had someone in the family who was also an artist. I love any medium I can get my hands on, but oil paints are my real passion.

I like photography because I always have my camera on me (my phone). Oil paints are both very expensive and very toxic. You have to use a lot of caution working with and around them. It was fantastic when I had a whole studio to work in. Doing it from home is trickier. Ceramics has been a joy. I never have any expectations for myself. I just do what I want and relish the process.

Having these loves you would think I would want to do art therapy with people? Not really. I like being "in the zone" and alone when I do my art (ceramics is the exception). Each requires my full attention. Mixing them feels strange.

So now that I have some strength and energy back, who get's that attention? What do I focus on? I feel pulled to reignite my love affair with painting. But I also want to get back to helping people more. Is there room for both in my future? Or will something else suffer.

I already feel like each day is bursting. Where do I squeeze in the time for my loves? That's a challenge most people have. The answer is to just make it a priority and do it. Just do it. 

Bright Side

I was thinking the other day about all the things I do now that I wouldn't be able to do if I were working full time. I came up with quite a comprehensive list. I found it incredibly helpful for my mental health to do this. I still miss working and all that came with it. The identity, the respect, contributing financially to my family, helping my community in a meaningful way...

It's one thing to have my family tell me how helpful and useful I am even though I can't work right now. But it's completely different to work through those feelings on my own.

Now I have time to:

• Fight for my medical supplies (my wheelchair, CPAP machine, etc.) This always takes a ton of time and was incredibly hard to do while working full time.
• Attend needed medical appointments and therapies.
• Spend more time in nature. 
  
  
  
• Create things and express my creative side. 
  
• Process the loss of my partial mobility. Mentally and emotionally.
• Be there to help my son. 
• Spend time getting to know my mother and who she is right now.
• Investing time and spoons into our home and garden. 
  
• Spend more time with my puppy and enjoy her last days with her. 
  
• Be available 100% for my husband. Hearing about his work and being more a part of his day.
• Being able to invest more time on my body and health.