My Colorful Life

Every day since mid-August (two short months ago) I pinch myself. I can't help but think "Is this how 'normal' people feel? Like allllll the time?" It baffles me. I can't remember a time when I had this... much... energy. Seriously. Not when I was a kid. Not as a teen. Not as an adult. I wonder how long I've actually had symptoms of this disease?

Here's what I've been doing with this new energy source.

• Friends old and new. Relationships outside of my family have been incredibly hard to manage with my crippling fatigue. It feels fantastic to be able to devote some time to my friends. And I've made a few new ones recently. Nothing I could have even considered before.
  
  
  
  
  
• Gardening. My husband said the other day that I've "taken over the entire garden." He said it in a good way. He's been incredibly busy. 
  
  
  
  
  
• Home decorating. My house was in need of a facelift. I'm in the process of painting our fireplace wall and getting my home ready for some company.
  
  
  
  
  
• Entertaining. Having friends and family in our home before was exhausting. My husband had to do most of the work. It wasn't unusual for me to have to leave mid-party to go and sleep. I'm looking forward to winter holiday entertaining while conscious.
  
  
  
  
  
• Working out. I'm enjoying the gym very much. I took a yoga class for the first time yesterday. I loved it, but not as much as Zumba. I'm a high energy person now and have fun dancing with a room full of other people.
  
  
  
  
  
• Max. Poor Max. Before he would be stuck sleeping with me all day. Now I walk him twice a day (weather permitting) and he's with me as much as possible. Just this morning I walked him around the block. Now he's about to come with me to the store. Later today we're meeting a friend for tea. He's my little "adventure buddy" and he loves it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• My hobbies. My husband and I recently did a Raku workshop that was long and intense. It was also located on a farm. Not wheelchair friendly at all. Nothing I could have done before, even if I had the energy for it. 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

I can't explain what it means to feel fully alive again. I didn't get my "life" back. Instead I gained new experiences, new relationships and a more engaging future. My life is richer. Fuller. It feels like the movie The Wizard of Oz when it goes from black and white to color. My life as a sick person was black and white. Now it is so full of color that it's blinding.

My Simple Life

I had some lovely time to myself this morning. I was reflecting on my life and how much it has changed. I was thinking about how much of my life used to be consumed by work. Just like my husband. How I didn't even have time to think about eating or how to take care of myself. I was too busy taking care of others. My clients, my dogs, my husband and my son. I absolutely came last.

Now here I am stripped bare. My son is living with my mother. No career. One adorable little dog. I have all the time in the world,

I realized that like this wild and crazy collage of my family my "core" is a jumble of many things. Where there used to be one massive boulder in my day "WORK" there now are many smaller things. My garden, my pooch, my family, meals, movement, ceramics/artwork, socializing... I still have an incredibly rich, full life. It just looks completely different now.

Here's a story...
My mother bought me chives this winter and they didn't do well at all. When I was planting my spring garden I dug them up and planted them all together in a small clay pot. I kept them out back and still took care of them. Recently they all died after living their life cycle. I had let them flower rather than eat them. I was going to re-use the pot they were in, so I started digging them out. And look what I found!

From these tiny little chives came a giant bowl of onions. I don't even know how they all fit in that small pot. I just kept digging out more and more beautiful onions. I thought the plant was dead and useless but where I couldn't see it was making magic. 

I constantly learn from nature. She is a fantastic teacher if you just pay attention. There's a lot you can take away from that onion story. Growth happens where other's can't see it. When you think you're dying you're really transforming. Thrive where life puts you... I could go on and on.

My life is as full as that pot. I just have to dig a little to notice and see it.