Seizure EEG

So I had my EEG this week. I don't recommend them. The flashing light and hyperventilation were a lot more taxing than I had anticipated. It left me exhausted for about 24hrs. But when you stop and think about how much energy goes into forcing yourself to hyperventilate for three minutes... Well... I shouldn't have been surprised. 

Collage and pictures courtesy of my mom/driver/personal assistant/fairy Godmother

I'm constantly shocked by my lack of stamina. Even this many long years after my diagnosis. I think that could be some kind of body dysmorphia. I see myself as far far far more capable than I am. Always. In any situation. "Sure I can lift that couch by myself. Absolutely I can walk a mile over rough terrain. You bet I can swim across that canal. I'm invincible!" Or maybe I'm just hugely optimistic? We'll call it that and not pathologize.  

However, I digress.

I did the EEG and the report came back normal. My husband joked that "Nothing about you is normal." But I have paperwork saying that my little brain is. YAY!

A normal EEG doesn't rule out Silent Seizures. Bummer.

Now I'm going to just hold off on taking anything for seizures until I talk to Dr. Williams, my muscular neurologist at the end of this month.

One invasive medical appointment done. Nothing else till Botox for migraines hopefully resumes next month. IF my insurance approved it. 

Road Blocks

There are certain events in my life that feel like road blocks. Success will lead to one path and failure will lead in another direction entirely. I have such a road block in 16 days. My licensure examination. The culmination of my entire education and training will lead up to my success or failure at obtaining a piece of paper. But that piece of paper means a lot to me.

Every therapist I know has failed their licensure at least once. Most up to three times. But I have high expectations for myself. I don't want to keep shelling out $100 and putting my health at risk each time I go take that test. I want to be over and done with that part of my life for good. I hate loose threads.

So if I don't pass, I can pay money, wait three months and take it again. That's one path. Or I can decide not to take it. I wouldn't do that, but it is an option. If I do pass I'll be officially, legally licensed. FINALLY! I'm not planning on practicing clinically any time soon, but mentally and for my future it would mean a lot to me.

It would give me closure. Give me confidence. Open up more doors for me in the future and for money making opportunities. Make me feel like a success. Yes, it's important.

My world right now revolved around those 16 days.