Why Should I Care?

 

My necklace is a heart with "myself" in it.
A birthday gift from my man.

I love it. 

 

My mitochondrial disease affects me in many ways. The biggest is muscle pain, fatigue and lung issues. My neurologist seems to think that my immune problems and neuropathy are un-related to my mito. Go figure. The neuropathy could be from the TB treatment. Isoniazid for 9 months. Or it could just be from some kind of bonus auto-immune chaos. 

 

My point is when my mito disease hits other areas that are less important, like my skin. Why should I care?

 

I thought my "vagina neck" as I fondly call it, was just from aging. My husband would tease me that it bothered me. My mom didn't think it was from aging at all. When she saw this picture of me she expressed some concern and challenged my saying it was just from age...

 

 

Do you see it?
Total vag neck.

 

I'm also getting a little jowlie. So I did some investigating. It turns out she was right. Mitochondrial disease affects the collagen and elasticity of the neck, so sagging like that is part of the package. 

Muscle Weakness & Anatomy: The neck muscles, specifically the platysma muscles, can weaken and separate, causing prominent vertical bands. The position of the hyoid bone can also determine how much skin sags.

Muscle Weakness (Myopathy): Many mitochondrial diseases cause mitochondrial myopathy, leading to muscle weakness and atrophy (shrinking) in the neck and throat area. As the platysma muscle weakens, it loses its ability to hold neck skin taut, contributing to a sagging appearance.

Decreased Collagen & Elastin: Mitochondria provide the energy (ATP) needed for fibroblasts to produce collagen and elastin. Mitochondrial dysfunction leads to a "biological energy crisis," resulting in slower collagen synthesis and thinner, less elastic skin that sags more easily.

Mitochondrial Disease can contribute to the appearance of a saggy "turkey neck" by accelerating skin aging and weakening the underlying muscles. While mitochondrial disorders primarily affect high-energy organs like the heart and brain, they also impact the skin's ability to maintain its structure and the neck muscles' ability to provide support.

Apparently there are some exercises you can do that could help. Or I could just wear scarves. Or I just could not care. I remember last summer it getting better with swimming. Considering we're talking about re-joining our gym in a few weeks maybe that will help? Or should I even really care that much.

 

 

Don't Just Get Clean

I was watching an episode of Queer Eye the other night and a topic came up that resonated with me. One of the people on the show said something to the effect of: When you're showering, don't just have the intention of "getting clean." Rather see it as a time just for you. Honor yourself. Make it an experience and take time to connect with your body.

Since I view my body as a betrayer, this is very hard for me. Medical trauma is very real. I thought about what I had heard. The person on the receiving end of this advice was also a big giver to other people. I reflected back on what I think of my body and how I have treated it since becoming ill and I saw something interesting.

In the past I would shave my head because it was easier to just not think about or fuss with my hair. (Or because I was too weak to shampoo my hair.) I don't wear makeup often because I don't like the feel of it. I didn't wash my face (outside of a shower) because my complexion was clear. I just stopped spending time on my looks. This all coincided with my illness.

Yes, I would go back and forth on coloring my hair. I wanted to go natural, but then I would feel like I looked old and sick and I would switch it up again.

But something recently changed.

I can't pinpoint it exactly.

Firstly it could have been my wonderful birthday party. Being around such magnificent women and being restored with feminine energy. It really was a magical evening.

Secondly it could have been me learning about animal testing and the cruelty in the beauty industry. Everything from our shampoo, deodorant to my face products were from evil companies. I vowed to do better this year.

Slowly I made a shift. 

I started by learning more about what "mature" skin needs and the changes that happen with age. I'm growing my hair out again (though I'm done with color... for now.) I tried out a brand that I'd used a few of their products in the past and liked them. They are local, woman owned, Vegan and cruelty free. I'm super happy with what I've bought so far.

Next I made a new skincare routine for myself. I do it every morning and every night. It is some special time just for me to relax and meditate. I'm trying to take extra good care of my eyes to prevent future styes.

I have a very simple makeup routine that doesn't feel gross on my skin. Again, using natural cruelty free brands.

I'm trying to "feel into my skin." Not just dissociate and "get clean."