Thriving

What is the difference between surviving and thriving? 

I asked myself today "Am I going day to day surviving? Or am I thriving?" The answer is complicated.

First I turned to the all knowing oracle of our times. Google. I think it's fun to ask deep questions and see what pops up. Much like a Magic 8 Ball. "Oooooooh all knowing Google. What lies at the depths of this question..." (((SHAKE SHAKE)))

Surprisingly Google had a good answer. Or make that Empowerwomen.org had a good answer. Although one I don't 100% agree with. "Surviving is doing what is necessary to live." I agree with that part. "A thriving mindset is defined by continually challenging oneself." I'm not sure about that.

To me personally the big difference isn't in challenging myself, but in growth. Surviving is making it from one day to the next intact. I for sure have my survival days. I know I'm not alone. I think of all the people across the world who are simply surviving right now.

However, Like Viktor Frankl I believe it is possible to thrive in any condition, no matter how hard, oppressive and awful. Most days I feel like I am thriving. I'm continually attempting to better myself. Better my health, my mind, my attitude, my relationships with loved ones, my body, my home... Thriving to me personally is a continual growing process into a better and better Antoinette. 

A kinder me who is as healthy as I can be, softer with my words, respectful of others, spending my time on important things, giving people (and pooches) my love, actively listening to others... all of these are things that make me feel like I thrive.

It doesn't have to be travel or a paycheck. I don't have to save lives or run a marathon. I just have to do my best and be my best. I am growing, flourishing, expanding into my own human potential. And I feel like most days I am thriving.

How I've Changed

Humans are bags of squishy bacteria and water. We're sensitive and vulnerable. It's amazing we live as long as we do given our ability to succumb to the slightest virus, infection or change to our bodies. And we do change. All the time.

My body has been through a lot in its 47 years. Car accidents, a pregnancy, multiple surgeries, TB, brain surgery and a genetic mutation. Without modern medicine I would have died a hundred times over by now. But not only am I still here, my serious health issues have changed me... for the better.

I believe I am a much better person now than I was before I had Latent Tuberculosis or my brain tumor. I am far more patient. I let little things go very quickly. I have a lot more perspective and love for others. I'm way less shy and more outspoken. I am fast to let people know I love them (animals too). I smile a lot more. 

But why?
How?

Because I know now what's most important. It's not being first in line or looking young and beautiful. What's most important to me now is that the people I love KNOW 100% that I love them. That I leave strangers feeling happier and in a better mood than before they interacted with me. That I make the world a little bit better just by being alive. By being here and a part of it. That's what matters most to me. Not superficial, shallow stuff.

Each day I'm grateful to still be here. I'm appreciative that I have my beautiful wheelchair and medicine to help me feel better. Doctors who try and help me live my best life and a family I'm devoted to.

I hope I'm here for years to come because I love my life.