Way back when there were dinosaurs

About 20 years ago I decided to take up running. I was a healthy 35 year old. All of my in-laws ran at the time. And somehow I got sucked into the magazine Runners World. They had really excellent articles. So I thought to myself if all these people can run there's no reason I can't too.

I went to our local running store (yes, we have one of those) and was "fitted" for personal running shoes. They were so comfy. I wore them for years. Once properly outfitted I gave it a try.

At first I fast walked not very far. Then I did a little jog. Then came my Fitbit and headphones. Because I was getting serious. I was a successful jogger! Next I worked on my form and finally became a runner. I had other women friends who ran too. We decided to sign up for a 5K.

Here comes the interesting part.
The whole time I was running, even before the 5K, I noticed that my right hip would hurt for no reason. I tried everything to get it not to hurt. Stretching, slowing down, favoring my left side... but nothing helped. I even stopped running and just burst into tears one day. What was I doing wrong?

The day of the 5K came. I even made us all matching hats. You can guess what happened. My friends (at my urging) left me in the dust. My hip started to feel like it was on fire. Every second of that run was torture. And I had no idea why.

I had practiced. I had stretched before the race. I wore my "special shoes." I read the magazine. I did everything right. 

One of my friends who had finished the race actually circled back around to encourage me to finish. I did, but I walked across that finish line. I got passed up by a heavily pregnant woman and a person dressed in an inflatable pickle costume. I got passed by a pickle.

I was humiliated that my friend (wearing jeans and converse shoes) came back to get me. I hated my body that I felt had completely betrayed me. Looking back I wonder...

Could it have been my earliest sign of mitochondrial disease? Does it go back that far? Even further? My mom says I was a very sleepy child. I remember falling asleep in class all of the time. In high school I would go to the nurses office during PE just to get a nap. Eventually she said I couldn't do it anymore.

Maybe I had mitochondrial disease my whole life and it just super worsened with TB and my brain tumor? Who knows.

I do know that when I walked the dogs today I had that exact pain. Now I recognize it as a feeling like my hip muscle just can't hold my hip bones into place. It feels very weak and painful. That exact same pain as 20 years ago when I tried to be a runner.

After that 5K I stopped. Something I don't regret. My body obviously isn't made for running. It's made for eating peanut butter and chocolate ice cream