Feeding Myself

I'm watching a show about Native Alaskans and a woman said something I love. "Everything is medicine, especially the food we eat." It's easy to forget that in today's fast paced world. I'm very fortunate not to live in an urban food desert and to have money to spend on pretty much any kind of food I choose. From wholesome organic food to junkie fast food. It's all up to me.

I have a troubled relationship with food and feeding myself. I'm really not sure even when it began. When I was younger I looked at food as an inconvenience. Something I just HAD to do. Stop playing and eat. Of course unless it was something super good like pizza. But even then I would just eat what I wanted and stop when I was full.

Something switched when I became a mom. Maybe it was eating my son's leftovers? Or eating for emotional reasons (eating my feelings.) I don't know but something changed. I began to over eat, eat at the wrong times and eat convenience foods. 

Every Friday was "treat day" for my son and myself. "Treat" meant fast food. I would pick him up from school and we would drive through the fast food of his choice. Yikes. I cringe at that now. I'm older and wiser. Sadly my now fully grown son is completely addicted to fast food. I can't help but blame myself.

But back to me.
I struggle with feeding myself. 
When and how much is a constant battle for me.

My natural setting is to eat nothing till later afternoon, then have something small. But when night comes the beast is unleashed! I love a very large dinner followed up with dessert. BOOM! More than a days worth of calories all at once.

How I "should be" eating for my mitochondrial disease is the complete opposite. Small meals with very high protein through the day. 

Then there's the ethical side of eating. At least for me.

I LOVE ANIMALS! All animals. I wish I could have a complete menagerie (and the staff to properly care for them.) Dogs especially, but seriously. All animals are wonderful. The way farm animals are treated here and in Asian countries is despicable. Really disgusting. So one of my goals for this year was to stop eating mammals.

In the past I was a vegetarian for a year and a Vegan for two years. As much as I wish I could be Vegan it's just too hard for me to get enough protein that way. I have low protein levels as it is, so I need to be careful. And when I was a vegetarian I increased my dairy (mainly cheese) to unhealthy levels. Plus I was still contributing to the cow/dairy industry which I didn't like.

I'm hoping by cutting out mammals I can find a healthy balance between what I need nutritionally and what I can do ethically. I can cut back on domestic cheese. I can eat more goat and imported cheese when I do eat cheese which is far more ethical and healthy. I will still eat eggs, but from certified humane farms. I enjoy organic free range chicken (not from factory farms) and that's a great source of protein. Fish I'm working on loving. I do love seafood, but honestly not more than once a week.

Why do we love some animals and eat others?

Beef is my favorite meat, but I just can't justify eating it anymore. The older I get the more I don't think it's very healthy for me anyway.

A healthy balance is what I'm striving for. 

Lately I've been enjoying either a protein bar or small yogurt cup for breakfast. Lunch is typically leftovers from the night before, egg and toast with a banana or a sandwich of some kind (like tuna.) Or if I'm fortunate then I'm at my mom's house and she's making me something fabulous. Like cod, baked potato and salad. I'm so lucky.

These are my absolute favorite

Dinner is still commonly my biggest meal. That's something I still struggle with. Both my husband and myself want to try and make lunch our biggest meal of the day, but it's a challenge for us. Dinner is usually fish tacos, chicken curry over potatoes or soup and quesadilla. We diversify our diet a lot with dinner. 

Dessert is something I'm working on cutting out all together. Unless it's a special occasion. I used to have a serious thing for Junior Mints. My nutritionist recommended replacing them with super dark chocolate bars (since you can only eat a little bit of them at a time.) I did and I find that I just don't want it that often. Although I'm guilty of making other gluten free goodies like chocolate chip cookie bars. But not very often.

I notice I'm not as hungry when I eat a high protein diet. My nutritionist also recommended eating a little bit of carb with every meal since it's carbs that convert protein to energy your muscles can use. I didn't know that and I had been eating super low carbs thinking it was healthier. So that's another small adjustment I made.

It would be fantastic if I could cut sugar out of my diet. I'm sure it would help with pain and inflammation. Sadly I'm addicted to my sweet sweet cup of coffee. Just one cup a day, but I need to have it sweet. I'm also still searching for the perfect non dairy coffee creamer. -sigh- I'm just a work in progress. Even at 50.

Did you know that...

• 10 Billion animals are slaughtered each year in the US.
• 99% of those are raised in a factory farm.
• Globally 80 Billion land animals are slaughtered for food each year.

This one shocked me and got me thinking...