Social Diva

One of the things I hugely missed during the years of my illness was having a social life. I was able to have just enough, little tastes here and there, to make me wistful for my old days full of get-togethers. Mostly women friends, laughing, sharing our thoughts. I think friendships make us better. All relationships, but friendships especially. Friends broaden our ways of thinking and build our confidence.

Lately I have had a whirlwind of new and wonderful friendships. I met a woman through my husband's work who is delightful. We are very close to the same age and although we don't have a lot in common on the surface, we do underneath. I knew from the moment I met her that we are soul sisters. I enjoy her company tremendously and am grateful each time we are together that I have the energy for her friendship.

Recently we met her partner and to my great joy my husband got along swimmingly with him. This is our second couple friendship in less than a month. Where we love both people. Wow! That's incredibly rare. I feel very lucky.

Max got to come too!

This past weekend I was busy three days in a row. Something that would have been un-thinkable when I was ill. It felt rich. Like a bath in warm buttermilk, I felt enveloped and fully alive basking in the conversation and friendship of others. We are social creatures and I'm just beginning to realize how devastatingly isolating illness is.

Our California sunset. So beautiful.

 

Most Important Part

I'd like you to meet the most important part of my life. My husband of 23 years, my partner for 25 years, the father of my son and the person I couldn't do without. 

I think most people imagine their husband/wife/partner to be a very important part of their life (at least I hope so.) But I know that mine is even more unique.

Other than making me laugh all the time (and laughter really is great medicine), he has supported our family financially, comes with me to every medical appointment and procedure that he can, rubs my back every single night and reads me a story out loud every single night. This was once a loving night time gesture and a fun way to spend time together that didn't involve a screen. But over the past 3 years it has become much more than that to me. It's the highlight of my day every day and the main reason I get any sleep at all. What a guy! Of course he does much more than that, but for the sake of space I'll keep it more focused.

Having a companion in life is the key to good health. Isolation does horrible things to both your body and your mind and any burden is much lighter when shared. Even on my worst day I feel my pain and mood lighten when my husband comes home. 

My superhero of a husband also tends to see the good everywhere. The good in people, in intentions, in situations. He is incredibly trusting, kind and generous. I tend to be much more cautious about who I trust and vigilant with people. He brings out the best in me. 

He's a lot like another man I adore, Mr. Rogers. He's calm and patient. Two things I have to work very hard to be in any way. You'd love to have him as a neighbor. 

I have no idea where the future will take us both. But I know that I can tackle anything that comes my way with him next to me. I also know that I can count on him and that anything I share with him will be heard and taken seriously. I think that makes me very lucky!