Finding Stillness

Spring is such an absolute flurry of noise, color and action. Nature tells us it's the time to "GO GO GO!" This week however I find myself yearning for some stillness. I've been sleeping even more than usual. I didn't get up till almost 11 this morning, even though I slept great. I feel like a groggy bear just out of hibernation now forced to fish and be active.

My mom and I have been trying to swim daily rather than three times a week. We made it five days last week. The most by far that I've swam. It felt good for my body. I felt proud emotionally. I also felt pretty exhausted energy wise. I figured out each time I swim takes around three hours. About an hour to get ready (suit on, sunblock on, pack bag...), then we swim for a full hour. Then an hour to shower, lotion, freshen up... So about three hours total. It also makes me very hungry.

Maybe that's why I didn't lose any weight at all the entire month of May? June is later this week, so I'll try and try again. But back to my energy.

After such a busy week and pushing myself to walk as much as I can I think I just shut down a little. My Botox was delayed again and my face has been hurting. Especially where my craniotomy plates are. I'm hoping to get in to see my neurologist soon. The Botox is a must have. So that could also be part of why I feel so slow this week.

I also feel a bit empty spiritually, which I don't like. I looked up at the moon last night and I couldn't remember the last time I did so. I used to track the moon cycles and star gaze frequently. Somehow I fell out of the habit. I'd like to make more space in my life for my spirituality. 

It can be difficult to find stillness in the noise of a full life. It takes intention. Giving myself a pause. Or a huge sleep. Just following the flow of what I need.