Words Matter

Since entering the world of chronic illness I've noticed something disturbing in the language used to talk about it. Who hasn't heard "She's battling Cancer." Or "He's fighting addiction." Like we're all soldiers who signed up for some unseen war.

This goes for diseases like Rheumatoid Arthritis, Multiple Sclerosis, Lupus and many other life-long, life-changing challenges. And don't get me started on the terms we use for adaptive equipment like "wheelchair bound."

You know what? Words matter. I'm not battling myself. I'm not even fighting. Want to hear the true definition of fighting according to Websters English Dictionary?

1) Take part in a violent struggle involving the exchange of physical blows or the use of weapons.

2) Engage in a war or battle.

3) A violent confrontation or struggle.

Ummm, yeah. See the issue?

This doesn't describe my body, my life or my attitude at being as healthy as I can be. My immune system is over-eager and is mistaking my own tissue as not belonging to me. End of story. My challenges come from my own body. I don't want to be "violent" toward my body. I don't want to "struggle" with it either. I want to have kindness, love and nurture myself. That's what it needs. That's what I need! My body and myself are the same. If I fight my own body, I'm fighting myself and that's just the opposite of helpful.

And what do we say about people who die of an illness? They "lost their fight with cancer." Seriously. I've read that and heard it said many times. To me that implies some kind of defeat. If you dig even deeper it implies that they gave up or just weren't strong enough to win. And what do we say of people in remission? "They are a survivor." That's just twisted when you really stop and think about what those words actually mean.

Battle      Brave     Survivor

War         Lost       Losing

Fight       Fighting

Struggling

Words matter, so think about how words make you feel and what words you'd rather use about your very own personal disability.

But don't take my word for it. Here's an excellent article from a brilliant woman who passed away from her cancer. You can also easily replace the word "cancer" here for many other illnesses.