Depression and Chronic Illness

I don't like the term "Big Black Dog" for depression. Dogs are loyal and funny and awesome. All they want is tummy rubs and bacon. Depression wants your joy, your playfulness and your hope. Not the same thing at all.

I've been struggling with depression the last few days. It all just feels like a lot going on all at once. Losing my job and starting Plaquenil (after the RA diagnosis) has just left me worn out. It's not just being laid off either, but the entire agency I work at is shutting down. So there's been a lot of miscommunication and uncertainty creating a ton of extra stress. And then there's trying to do what's best for my clients and make their transition as easy as I can. No wonder I woke up with a major flair the other day.

Despite feeling completely overwhelmed, depressed, angry, sad, upset and even hopeless at times, there are a few things that help me.

#1) HUMOR!

My favorite shark "Bruce" taking a night time sip from MY Disney Frozen cup.

Yeah, that's right. I own a stuffed shark AND a Disney cup.

You should try it. It helps. 

Humor is a HUGE part of my relationship with both my husband and my son. We make up funny songs, send each other silly memes and joke around a lot. Depression hates laughter. So watching a funny movie or TV show, or just spending time being child-like is incredibly helpful for me when I feel depressed and hopeless.

#2) Writing or Drawing about my feelings

My journal is a great place to get out feelings like these.

Some days are worse than others.
Monday was a bad day.

Sometimes I don't want to share my feelings with another person. But it does feel good for me to get them out. My journal is an important part of doing that for me. In it I can be funny, encouraging and hopeful. But I can also vent some darker thoughts as well.

#3) Being pro-active

My new jammie rack

A helpful way that I deal with any new situation, especially a stressful one (or one that can feel overwhelming) is by taking action. As I adjust to what it means to have RA and peripheral neuropathy I learn what's good and helpful for my body and what's hard and damaging. 

For example, digging through the freezer with bare hands? Bad. Holding cold things. Bad. Trying to pry open the drawer of our 1950's dresser every night to get my pajamas out? Bad. Going barefoot all the time? Bad.

Soooo... last night I took everything out of my "super hard to open" dresser and hung them on this wall hook behind the door instead. Now everything's eye level and easy to get to (and put away.) And my husband gained another drawer. Win-win. And since this is behind our door and we keep the door open almost all the time, you don't even see it. Problem solving at its finest!

This gives me a sense of accomplishment and taking care of myself, both of which Depression hates. Almost as much as it hates a sparkly Disney cup.