Support Group

 

I'm starting a support group in my community...

(Click to make bigger!)

For years now I've been trying to find the kind of support group I felt like I needed. Only to realize that it doesn't exist. At least not anywhere around me. Exhausted from looking I decided I'm starting one. Women only (because men tend to take up more space both verbally and emotionally.) 18+ So that we all have more in common.

It is my hope that we can form a community where we can share and support each other in our huge struggle. 

I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, but this group is free. While you wait for our monthly gathering you can poke around my blog to learn more about me. Yes, Max will also be joining me. I look forward to meeting YOU!

“This event is not sponsored by Yolo County Library and the presence of this group in the meeting room does not constitute Yolo County Library’s endorsement of the policies or beliefs of this group.”

Meet Evangeline!

Introducing my newest wheelchair "Evangeline!" She and I have gotten off to a rocky start. She was given to me (thank you health insurance) the week of Christmas 2022. I've had her six months, but she and I are only just now getting along.

What happened?

I'll tell you all about it.

See... she is FANCY. I was intimidated the second I sat on her. She can move in any and all directions from zero gravity to six feet in the air. Working her controls feels like you're working a forklift. She's very complex.

She also doesn't like rough terrain. She likes smooth, even pavement. No grass, dirt, mulch, rocks, tips or anything other than flat and hard. Honestly I think she was made for Las Vegas or shopping. She's not an adventure girl. She's your Jimmy Chu shoes.

Then there was the error code.

Any time I tried to use her lift or tilt features I would get a flashing error code. I have had her serviced five times already and a part replaced once. Another part is on the way to be replaced as I type. She's a finicky Swede. Yes. She's made in Sweden. 

It's like a car. The more complicated it is the more that can go wrong.

Then there was the incident that happened on vacation.

I thought I could roll down a very steep, slightly slanted driveway and be ok. I was not ok. Evangeline locked her tires and I slid down the driveway and into the street. Luckily there were no cars at the time, but I did throw off a touring group of bikers and made one tip over. She doesn't like uneven surfaces. FLAT! FLAT GROUND ONLY!

My repair guy said "yeah. There's no way you were going to make that. Maybe next time circle back and avoid doing that." Thanks dude. Super helpful.

So she and I have had a challenging relationship.

However...

She's also really amazing. And pretty. And comfortable. She can adjust to me in any way. And I love the lift function (when it works). I always get comments and questions. Most people haven't seen a chair that could lift up as it's still a pretty new feature.

I just had to learn to get comfortable driving her and she had to be adjusted quite a bit to fit my needs. I think we're almost there. And I always have Dory for adventures.

My Simple Life

I had some lovely time to myself this morning. I was reflecting on my life and how much it has changed. I was thinking about how much of my life used to be consumed by work. Just like my husband. How I didn't even have time to think about eating or how to take care of myself. I was too busy taking care of others. My clients, my dogs, my husband and my son. I absolutely came last.

Now here I am stripped bare. My son is living with my mother. No career. One adorable little dog. I have all the time in the world,

I realized that like this wild and crazy collage of my family my "core" is a jumble of many things. Where there used to be one massive boulder in my day "WORK" there now are many smaller things. My garden, my pooch, my family, meals, movement, ceramics/artwork, socializing... I still have an incredibly rich, full life. It just looks completely different now.

Here's a story...
My mother bought me chives this winter and they didn't do well at all. When I was planting my spring garden I dug them up and planted them all together in a small clay pot. I kept them out back and still took care of them. Recently they all died after living their life cycle. I had let them flower rather than eat them. I was going to re-use the pot they were in, so I started digging them out. And look what I found!

From these tiny little chives came a giant bowl of onions. I don't even know how they all fit in that small pot. I just kept digging out more and more beautiful onions. I thought the plant was dead and useless but where I couldn't see it was making magic. 

I constantly learn from nature. She is a fantastic teacher if you just pay attention. There's a lot you can take away from that onion story. Growth happens where other's can't see it. When you think you're dying you're really transforming. Thrive where life puts you... I could go on and on.

My life is as full as that pot. I just have to dig a little to notice and see it.

Nine Years Ago This Week

Shutterfly was kind enough to remind me this morning of what I was doing nine years ago this week. It turns out I was graduating from UC Davis with my second degree in Psychology. I now have three. I was also pretty healthy. I hadn't contracted TB yet and I didn't know about my then small brain tumor. I didn't have constant pain. I was able to walk miles in a day without any issues. I didn't need a nap every day.

Most of my memories are colored with my current reality. They're bittersweet. I miss being able to learn, work and travel. Our celebratory trip to Iceland was a once in a lifetime vacation. Although I feel that way about all of our trips.

I enjoy seeing what a bad ass I was back then...

Although I am still a badass! Look at what I was up to just a few days ago...

The muffler on Pablo our wheelchair van got ripped out when we went over a small metal square in a parking garage. It was so awful. I had to think on the fly and come up with solution after solution. Come to think of it, my life is still very adventurous! Ha ha.