Disability 2 months in

I've been off work for the last two months due to my disability. During that time I think I've felt every emotion humanly possible. My mother ended up moving back to my town from England (0.8 miles away from me) the week before I had to stop working. It wasn't anything planned. It just shockingly worked out that way. She has been a welcome and wonderful distraction, especially since I stopped driving the same time I stopped working. 

This also means I haven't had much time alone with my thoughts and feelings as any time I'm alone is 100% filled with being disabled. Going to or scheduling doctors appointments, ordering or picking up medications and supplements. Researching my muscle disease. Reading genetic testing results. It's exhausting.

Then of course there's actually applying for SSDI (permanent disability) and trying to rest as much as I can. At least I've mastered the "bed head".

Werk it gurl!

Unsurprisingly I was instantly rejected for disability. After spending the last 10 years in school and working for free it was expected. Their algorithm hated me the second I submitted it. No... seriously. The literal second I submitted it was denied. So now step two is to appeal and try and find a lawyer. Nothing and I mean nothing about being disabled is easy.

I applied to have my student loans dismissed since I can't earn any income right now. The letter I got back in early November said I would hear back "in 30 days." Apparently they meant 30-120 days, which I found out after a phone call and not hearing back. This is holding up my wheelchair van. No way can I take on a huge debt like that till I know I won't have to pay my student loans.

But there are some good things happening too!

The supplements I'm taking for migraines have finally started to help. I still get headaches, but less frequent and less painful. I'm also feeling less dizzy. Still foggy headed so I'm not driving but not like I'm going to spend my life in bed either (which was where I was headed around Thanksgiving.) I attribute that to starting L-Arginine back up again after a crappy medical appointment. 

I also recently purchased some L-Citrulline to try. I read this peer reviewed article about both L-Arginine and L-Citrulline being helpful for the symptoms I was experiencing. I'm also choking less and breathing easier.

And I finally got another patient advocate through my health center. She's been great about cracking skulls with my wheelchair company to get my modifications through. Hopefully soon I'll have the higher headrest and knee abductors that I've needed for Dory for a long time. Also hopefully soon I'll have a van to drive her more places.

Reading this it's easy to understand why I get so angry when people think I just lay around all day. Being an advocate for myself and just being ill is a full time job. 

I'm seeing my wonderful primary care doctor this Friday and we're going to extend my temporary leave (SSI). Then I'm taking a break from all things government till after Christmas and my birthday.