Frustrated

I think that's the number one word I would use to sum up my chronic illness. "Feeling frustrated" a good majority of the time. 

A big cause of that feeling comes from the moving target of my kind of illness. I literally never know how I'm going to feel, what I can or can't do, from one second to the next. I can kindove have a plan. I can guess. I can take what I think will be preventative measures, but there's zero knowing where my body will end up.

Case in point last night. I was coming off a hard weekend where my body just needed a lot of TLC and rest. I missed out on a lot of fun things we had planned (= frustrating). Then last night something was wonky with my breathing all... night... long. Was it asthma? Allergies? My lung muscles not working? Too much dust in my room? Heck if I know. I just had a very hard time breathing and slept like crud.

I'm a problem solver by nature, so this morning I look up tips for night breathing and find my pillows are long overdue for a wash. Not the case... the pillow. And my favorite soft one that I keep by my face (along with my stuffed shark) haven't been washed in at least a year. Ok, good place to start.

Me and my buddy Bruce

Then how about using my inhaler more? I thought I already was, but can't hurt. I already have an air filter in my room, but is it positioned right? And how about that throw rug, does it need a wash? And here we have my entire day.

Now my whole Monday has gone from everything I had planned on doing to trying to make my room as "lung friendly" as possible. This is life with a chronic illness. And it is very frustrating!!!