Letting go

Part of adjusting to life with a disability is letting go of what you can no longer do. Mourning those things that your body just can't do anymore. For example, I can't do the kind of travel that my husband and I used to enjoy. No more hiking down cobble stairs into a secret well (like is pictured here in Sintra, Portugal). 

Yesterday I took a short bike ride to see how my body did. It has been a very long time since I tried to ride. I love my bike and it used to make me very happy. As I had feared my muscles did not like my bike. It's just too hard now to get it to go where I want and to balance. Time to mourn not being able to use my bike anymore and let it go.

My awesome bike and fantastic helmet two years ago.

A funny thing happened though when I got off my bike and in my wheelchair yesterday. I felt relief. I also had that excitement feeling I used to get from my bike, now just from my wheelchair. Like my bike it's a tool to take me around. I also get to feel the wind on my face, just like on my bike. But unlike my bike it's a tool that I CAN use. That's a good feeling. I'll be selling my bike and hopefully the next owner loves it as much as I did. 

But having a permanent disability doesn't mean I still can't do fun things. In fact there are loads of amazing things that I CAN still do!

I can eat fresh berries in the summertime!

I can still snorkel. Which is a life-changing experience. 

I can still swim! Or float. Depending on my energy level. Water is still my friend.

I can still travel and have adventures with my husband.
They're just different kinds of adventure now. 

I can still enjoy the beauty of nature.

I'm very lucky!