Find Your Heroes

I have many heroes, but I'd like to introduce you to two of them. You'll notice an intimate connection although their paths never crossed.

The first is the Dalai Lama:

I first fell in love with the Dalai Lama about six years ago. I was hired to work at a lab and the lead scientist did research in meditation and had met with the Dalai Lama before. This meeting had changed his life for the better. He shared that experience with me and I became curious to learn more about this amazing man.

I watched some videos on YouTube of him talking and was immediately struck by two important things.

1) He does not rush. If he can't find something he needs, even if a stadium full of people are waiting to hear him speak, he pauses and slowly finds what it is, leaving everyone waiting. It's ok to wait. It's ok to not rush. There was zero fear in him of disapproval. No awareness of judgement. That amazed me.

2) He 100% still has his child-like sense of humor and wonder. He laughs often (and sounds just like Yoda from Star Wars when he does) and easily. He jokes and plays around with those close to him. He's fast to show affection.

I find those two qualities to be very important in weathering adversity. Take your time, don't rush, be patient with yourself and always keep that little kid happy and let it play.

The second hero of mine is also a man. I do admire many many women (for some reason Grace Jones is jumping to mind right now), but these two have something special in common.

The second one is Viktor Frankl. He was a neurologist, psychiatrist and also had a Ph D in philosophy. He's famous however for being a Holocaust survivor and for inventing something called "Logotherapy."

 Why I love this man is his theory that "striving to find meaning in ones own life is the primary most powerful motivating and driving force as humans." The tenets of Logotherapy can be summed up as "Life has meaning under all circumstances, even the most challenging." If a man like Viktor can find meaning in a Concentration Camp, then surely I can even while struggling with health issues. Nothing like a little perspective!

Viktor believes that spirit is the will of the human being and that we create meaning in three ways.
1) By creating work or doing deeds.
2) Experiencing something or encountering someone.
3) By the attitudes we take toward unavoidable suffering.

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the last of the human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances."

These set beliefs gel perfectly with the Dalai Lama's beliefs on human suffering.
"From the moment of birth, every human being wants happiness and does not want suffering." But he goes on to share that he feels suffering is optional. If you embrace joy (which is different from happiness because it comes from within) then you will never suffer. You will have pain and hard moments, but it will be temporary.

What both these men share is the stressing of AGENCY. That it's US who control our joy. That even when we feel like we have no choice or that things are just happening TO us, we can always control our own thoughts and attitudes.

Words have great power. They can hurt or heal. I am careful about what words I use to myself. I also try to always remember that even when I feel like I don't have any choice, I ALWAYS do.