Migraine Torment

I am still waiting for my Botox and to meet my new neurologist while my wonderful, usual one is on maternity leave. I will meet him and get my new shots in 10 days. Not that I'm counting. At least he finally got back to me (after an intervention by my primary doctor) and prescribed me something new to try and help in the meantime. That only took three weeks to get him to do.

My migraines are tormenting me. It feels like someone put me on a copy machine and made so many copies of my brain that now the ink is running out. I feel un-real. Not all here. Like I slipped between two realities. One of pain, dizziness, distractions and the real one. 

Conversations are hard to follow. I feel like I'm just a shadow of myself. A bad copy of who I should be. Quiet and then garbled. I call things and people by the wrong name. It takes a long time to say what I mean. It all feels awful.

I think that's one of the main reasons I tend to over eat. It grounds me. Gives me instant pleasure and makes me feel more... me! When I'm hungry that faded feeling only intensifies till I hit a point of not caring. Then it's actually challenging for me to eat.

Caring about things in my life (other than the people I love) is hard right now. The migraine just erases me bit by bit. 

I can't wait to get my Botox and start to feel like myself, even if it's only a minor improvement. Anything is better than this.