Chronic Illness & Relationships

Life gives us many opportunities for relationships. Acquaintances, co-workers, friends, family, pets... All touch us in some way. Chronic illness and relationships are rough.

Can't you just bring a coffee by my place every once in a while?

Once I didn't "get well soon" most of my friendships went by the wayside. If I'm really honest I would say ALL of my friendships went by the wayside. You can only cancel plans for being ill so many times before people just stop asking. And I think my friends specifically just stopped knowing what to say or do when I wasn't "cured" by whatever treatment I was trying that week.




I have a specific friend who was pretty shocked when I showed up to our coffee date in a wheelchair. And if I had the energy to sit and listen to people talk about themselves for hours then I'd still be at work. I don't blame them for dropping off. It's very hard to understand and to know what to do to help. And "let me know if I can help" isn't really help at all. It's words to make the person NOT feel helpless, useless and powerless in a situation where everyone is powerless.

My in-laws have been really fantastic. My mother and father in-law took my husband and myself to Yosemite National Park not too long ago and bent over backward to do things that would be accommodating for me. They check in on me regularly and are good listeners.

Us on an accessible trail at Yosemite in July 2019

My two sisters-in-law are also very helpful. They always understand if we need to cancel an outing or family gathering because of my health. No one takes anything personally, which is a HUGE gift.

One of my sisters-in-law visiting me right after my brain surgery. They were both there and both spent the whole day with my husband waiting. Now THAT'S LOVE!

My family is also great. My mother is looking at a house close by to me to be helpful. She now drives me anywhere I need to go, anytime. She even takes my precious dog out for walks and adventures! She feeds me, henna's my hair for me and slips my son money any time she can.

Me and my Mom. I feel very loved and supported with her.

My husband is the center of my support system and where I get the most love, understanding and help. He gets to see me at my worst and has never even blinked when I lose my cool and have a "snot" moment of hysterical crying. He rubs my feet anytime I need it, rubs my back nightly and reads me stories out loud. He works more than full time to support us and is calm, cool and patient with our 25yo son (who is temporarily back home again). My husband cooks, shops and cleans... he's an amazing man. I may have bad luck when it comes to health, but I won the karma jackpot with my marriage. 

He always has my back

My chronic illness has tried to take out my marriage many times, but it hasn't even made a dent. "Can't work, no orgasm, need to rest daily, foggy mind, can't drive..." a world of "cant's" doesn't stop our love for each other and how we always find a work around.

I know people who have had chronic illness decimate every relationship in their lives. I have much to be thankful/grateful for when it comes to the people who are really there for me every day and I feel fortunate to have them.