What's New?

It must be December because suddenly I'm super busy. Trying to juggle my RA symptoms, viruses that keep sneaking up on me, still recovering from brain surgery and testing my ongoing muscle weakness issues. Oh yeah... AND I just started working full time. This past week I moved up for 30 hours to 40. But I'm happy to report that it went really great!

I found this pinecone on a walk around my office complex. 

Isn't nature amazing?

I love my job and feel blessed to be able to do what I do. This week went very fast and didn't feel like that much of a shift. Of course it helps when you have a supportive partner like I do. He did all the shopping, cooking and cleaning up this week. All I had to do was come home, eat and sleep. I'm always grateful for his support.

I've also been sleeping world's better recently. Much deeper with longer REM stages. I think the brain tumor was screwing with my sleep and I didn't even know it. And a good night's sleep can help like no other medicine.

Aside from all the love, support and great sleep I'm trying to be careful with my eating. My husband and I encourage each other to get protein in the morning. I also pack a lunch to eat healthy even at work. I never forget the snacks! My favorite is a hard boiled egg. It keeps me feeling full and gives me energy.

I did a little art project the other day using paper plates. One side is the "Me" that everyone sees. Happy, healthy, smiling. The other side is the "Me" that is much harder to spot and only my husband really sees. That's chronic illness, pain, sickness, exhaustion, sadness, frustration and all my symptoms.

I showed it to my husband and he said it made him sad. I understand. It's hard having two sides with you all of the time. Every time someone tells me "YOU LOOK SO GREAT! YOU LOOK SO HEALTHY!" I actually flinch. Because I know that they're only seeing what I present and none of the struggle and suffering. It's not all of me. Not even the most important part. It's just the mask I put on every day. Do you ever wish people could see what your chronic illness really looks like? The toll it really takes on your health, both physically and mentally? I know I do.